YOU..
After all You put me through, I can't forget You and You can't forget me-
I can't let You
I'm not ready to give it over, I'm not the type to apologize
Because even when I was on my own, I was never truly alone
You told me once for me to never forget, and how could I?
You have never left my mind
I wish everyday You could, but I fear I would be stricken blind
I, at that time, would no longer be the same
You have made me how I am today
Every word You said cut to my heart
Now, tears are famous briefly to my cheek
I myself can hardly understand it
But I say it's fine, honestly I do
I will never again tolerate a threat from You.
I really like the repetition of the words you and I. It emphasizes the relationship of the two people. I also like the theme of never forgetting the one you love but also never letting them hurt you again. The part that confused me was, "Every word you say cut to my..." It seems as though something is missing. Your what? Good job.
ReplyDeletewell one thing i would fix is making it so you can actually see some of the words like heart and such. besides that i really enjoyed this piece. i liked how you made the words you and i really stick out and made them flow without making it sound over used
ReplyDeleteThis was really good. Especially for just taking random lines from the books that quickly! To get something that went together so well, you where really lucky! Great job! I loved how it was repetitive.
ReplyDelete